Permanent anxiety relief is a natural, automatic result of destroying the source of the anxiety itself. While various conventional methods for dealing with anxiety such as breathing, affirming, thinking, socializing, medicating and exercising are effective temporary solutions, they leave the anxiety’s source unaffected. The following paragraphs will show you what the real source of anxiety is and what you can do about getting rid of that source permanently.
All anxieties can be grouped into one or more of the following 18 broad categories:
- Anxiety (Fears, negative thoughts, worries about “what if”, what I coulda, shoulda, woulda said or done)
- Blocks to creative processes (Actors, composers, fine artists, musicians, writers)
- Bugged/Controlled by people who press my buttons (Children, parents, teachers, politicians, coaches, friends, coworkers)
- Bullied/Cyberbullied/Made fun of/Put down/Picked on (School, neighborhood, workplace, siblings, bosses, relationships, marriages, in-laws)
- “Character flaws” (Feeling inadequate, shame, incomplete, scarred, defective, “damaged”)
- Fighting/wrestling with my demons
- Financial worries
- Health concerns (Reduce intensity of emotional feelings associated with medical symptoms, flus, colds, etc. Unable to do what is in my best interest)
- I’m my worst enemy/I sabotage myself
- Insecurities/Confidence issues
- Making the same mistakes I swore I’d never make again
- No matter what I do, it’s never good enough/Always disappointing others
- Parenting skills (Worried about being a good parent)
- Relationship problems (Always finding losers, bad breakups, betrayed)
- School issues (Test anxiety, social standing, bored, underachieving, “lazy”)
- Sports performance (“Yips”, over thinking, anxiety, mad at myself, second guessing, down/depressed, body tension, physiological discomfort)
- Stress (Acute, chronic)
- Workplace interactions (Job insecurity, lack of motivation, fear of asking for a raise, anxiety about making presentations, hate cold calling, annoying coworkers)
Each of these anxieties has a single general source, and that source lies beyond your conscious control.
Remember, no situation, event, person or group that you associate with your anxiety contains that anxiety. Your anxiety reaction is one that comes up automatically whenever you find yourself in that particular situation. If the situation really did have anxiety in it, then everyone would automatically feel the same way, and obviously not everyone feels the same way. Some people remain perfectly calm, some are amused and yet others remain indifferent in response to the same situation.
So, what then, is this mysterious, different ‘thing’ that is really the source of anxieties?
First, we will start with a bit of science to provide some background and then move on to identifying that source and how it operates in our lives.
Nearly everyone has heard of the science of genetics, which describes how physical characteristics are passed from parents to their children. Recent genetic advances have enabled scientists to identify the genes that predispose us to certain diseases and to suggest methods for reversing the diseases if they occur.
Genetic science has also shown that our reactions to stressful situations can also be transmitted to future generations. Two examples are:
Dr. Barbara McClintock was awarded the 1983 Nobel Prize in Medicine and Physiology for showing that genes migrate along DNA strands in response to stress. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_McClintock)
The December 2013 issue of Nature Neuroscience contains an article by Drs. Dias and Ressler that showed mice could pass on learned information by inheriting the traumatic or stressful memories and the response to the situation that is similar to the traumatic memory of their parents. During the tests, they learned that mice could pass on learned information about traumatic or stressful experiences – in this case a fear and anxiety of the smell of cherry blossom – to subsequent generations. This is an example of a pattern, a “bit of energy”, that attaches itself to a memory. (http://www.nature.com/news/fearful-memories-haunt-mouse-descendants-1.14272)
It seems logical that genes would pass along physical characteristics such as family resemblance: hair color, eye color, height, body type etc, but why would we inherit stress reactions? Well, nature has provided a way for the lessons learned by one generation to be passed down to future generations so that we don’t have to learn the same things over and over – often in a dangerous way. We have an inherent wariness of things like snakes, spiders, centipedes and large animals because many of these things are dangerous and/or poisonous. We prefer sweet foods rather than bitter foods because the bitter taste can indicate that a food will make us sick and a sweet taste indicates that a food is probably safe to eat.
Although these results have not been confirmed in humans, scientists conclude it seems reasonable to assume that we exhibit similar inherited phobias, depression, anxieties, compulsions, anger, etc. Look at your emotional reactions – or lack of them – and then look at your parent’s behaviors and emotional reactions with you and others. Some of them see the glass half full, others half empty; some have what you perceive as “irrational”, “neurotic” fears and anxieties; others are hypercritical and may be prone to yell; others don’t get you no matter how hard you try to get them to do so. And if you can engage your parents to recollect their parents’ reactions and emotions displayed to them growing up, you will see the generational patterns orchestrating your grandparents, your parents – and you. It appears that nature has given all living things a mechanism by which future generations would automatically know how to behave – through the automatic operations of patterns – when those generations encountered similar situations, even if that behavior is not in our best interests. We rarely encounter threats to our lives from wild animals or hostile humans during our modern lives.
So, it’s safe to say that our reactions to certain situations can be inherited. And since there have been only about 100 years of genuine peace in western history in the past 2000 years, all of the results of traumatic events – wars, plagues, famines, floods, storms, enslavement, etc is recorded in our genes.
Entire families, tribes, communities and populations hold grudges and suspicions for millennia as a result of genetic reinforcement. Individuals react in ways that are identical or very similar to the ways their parents and grandparents reacted.
Although the genetic forces – the sources – that give rise to automatic reactions are very powerful, and can even grow from generation to generation, they are exceedingly easy to destroy permanently in an individual.
You can relate to the following example if a flame or a hot object has ever burned you.
Remember your reaction to coming in contact with a flame or a hot object. You pulled away from it instantly and you may have been unfortunate to be left with a wound from your encounter. The next time you found yourself in the presence of a flame or a hot object you were very wary of approaching the source of your pain. You didn’t have to think about the consequences of touching the heat source; your reaction was now automatic.
However, we do learn to respond properly to various sources of heat. We use flames or hot objects to cook, heat our homes, heat water for bathing, refine petroleum and ores, and weld metals. We burn fuel in engines that propel automobiles, aircraft, ships and all kinds of useful vehicles. If we had the same fearful reaction to being burned by a flame or hot object and never developed any proper responses to various forms of heat, then we would not have the benefits of modern civilization. Obviously, this is an extreme example to the reaction to an unpleasant circumstance of being burned.
The important aspect in this example is that whenever we encounter a heat source we react immediately, without thinking, with a certain sense of fear. But the flame or hot object is not the source of that fear. The source of that fear is a “bit of energy” that attaches itself to the memory of our encounter with the heat source. The function of this bit of energy, which is called a pattern, is to protect us from burning ourselves again in a similar situation.
Now consider everyday examples of feeling anxiety, fear, worry, anger, confusion, etc. that we experience when we deal with a particular person, group of people, event or situation in our lives. You know the ones: taking a test and “blanking out”, fearing to speak in front of the group, being suddenly unable to perform an athletic move, asking for what you want, having someone consistently “push your buttons”, being bullied, having a series of bad relationships, to name just a few.
In each of these cases, you react automatically, without thinking, to a circumstance that you automatically blame for your upsetting feelings and unwanted behavior. Later you probably asked, “What got into me?”, “Why did I do or say that thing?”, or said, “What I should have said or done was…”
But your focus is on the external stimulus for your reaction and on a desire to avoid that upsetting feeling that automatically appeared. You never question what source really causes that upsetting feeling in the first place.
The source of your reaction is the same thing as the reaction to being burned by the hot object. A pattern, most likely inherited from your ancestors, is the real source of your discomfort. Any situation that has even some small similarity to the original memory triggers the pattern’s action. The pattern, the source of your discomfort, is ‘protecting’ you from a perceived threatening situation by giving you a warning in the form of unpleasant feelings. However, a pattern does not, and cannot, think. A pattern reacts the same way to every triggering situation, even when the feeling and behavior it produces are a mismatch for what is really happening. Until the repeating pattern is destroyed, you will continue to react to situations and individuals in the same repeating way as if you were a robot or a vending machine.
You can be present in the moment after you destroy a pattern and enjoy freedom from its operations. Being present in the moment allows you to choose from options as opposed to unknowingly obeying a pattern’s dictates. Much like the example of the proper uses of fire and heat, you will be able to choose the proper response instead of reacting predictably to a given circumstance.
The great news about a pattern’s destruction is that once a pattern is destroyed, it can never return. Its destruction is permanent and irreversible. The reason is that a pattern is formed from a “then” moment in time under a specific “then” set of circumstances. No moment, no matter how minutely it is measured, can be exactly repeated or duplicated. No set of circumstances, no matter how finely defined, can be exactly duplicated. The “then” moment and the “then” set of circumstances that produced the pattern existed in the historic “then” moment, which is gone forever. Therefore, once a pattern is destroyed it is gone forever because it is literally impossible to duplicate a pattern using the “now” current moment and the “now” circumstances.
Here are the ways that patterns affect your life:
–Your perceptions and reactions are determined by patterns that are inherited or formed in your childhood or later years. Your behavior is controlled by the energy patterns within you. Other names for the term ‘patterns’ are: programs, inner conflicts, invisible opponents, wrestling with your demons, and being your own worst enemy.
-These patterns work in the unconscious, removed from your conscious awareness. Patterns cause internal mental chatter and compulsive behaviors.
–A pattern is concerned only with its survival. It disguises its presence by causing you to project and blame its operations onto others and external conditions. A pattern will allow you to see and do only those things that do not threaten its existence.
– Any action, such as continuously talking and even thinking about your problems, is motivated by your discomfort, which is caused by a pattern. But a pattern will cause you to focus on your discomfort – not the pattern itself. Since a pattern feeds on your negative emotions, talking and even thinking about your problems will only strengthen that pattern. Therefore, a pattern will become stronger every time you are reacting, not responding, to a situation in which the pattern operates. A reaction is an automatic thought, emotion or behavior in a situation that is caused by a pattern. A response is a pattern-free choice of a thought, emotion or behavior in a situation that is proper and appropriate to what is happening in the moment.
– A pattern does not restrict its operation to only one aspect of your life. A pattern has a ripple effect. Any single pattern affects all areas of your life because a pattern is energy, and that energy permeates your entire physical and psychological states, just like a radio wave passes though every cell of your body.
– Patterns make you incapable of seeing effective choices that would be readily apparent to someone else. Conscious awareness becomes an intellectual concept and no longer an obtainable commodity. Activities you would have done effortlessly in the past become a struggle or even impossible at times. Sometimes getting out of bed in the morning becomes an arduous task. As long as the pattern operates, and you blame yourself, analyze your feelings and rationalize why you feel that way, you will remain stuck.
In summary, patterns are the puppet masters controlling you like a marionette on strings. Patterns are the puppet masters who remain invisible to your ‘audience’. The only perception the puppet-show audience view as ‘reality’ is the behavior of the marionettes. Whatever the marionettes do, the audience accepts with applause or rejects with boos. The audience judges the observable, visible behavior of the marionette and not the unobservable, invisible behavior of the puppet master pulling your strings. The whole world is a puppet show because every human has patterns unknowingly operating at all times.
You are not the cause of your anxiety or inappropriate behaviors on the job, in your relationships or dealing with addictions. Patterns are!
Patterns’ natures cause them to operate in predictable, repetitive ways. Here is a summary listing of their energetic anatomy:
– Patterns exist in the unconscious, where memories about everything that has ever happened to you in your life are stored. Patterns make use of every bit of this information to defend themselves from your attempts to recognize and destroy them.
– Although the pattern knows everything about you and will use the information to protect itself, the pattern cannot think. A pattern is similar to a physical virus that invades the nucleus of the cell. A virus knows how to ensure its survival and to use the nucleus to reproduce itself, but the virus, like a pattern, cannot think. Patterns, viruses and bacteria operate on survival instinct rather than logical thought.
– The behavior of all patterns follows a predictable, repetitive and sequential path. For example, you become frustrated or angry when something does not produce an expected http://www.cheapativanpriceonline.com result. Patterns dictate that you behave in such a predictable way, which is a reaction, not a response.
– Patterns have only one motivation and that is their continued survival, which always is at the expense of your peace of mind and enjoyment of life.
– Patterns use your emotional energy to prevent you from becoming aware of their existence and interfering with their operations or destroying them.
– Every action that you take that is motivated by a pattern will strengthen the pattern. This includes talking about the pattern and resisting an emotion or feeling that is associated with the pattern. For example, avoiding or dismissing thoughts about an annoying relative, neighbor or boss will intensify and prolong the annoying feelings associated with the thoughts.
– Everything within your unconscious also operates continuously even during your physical sleep. The patterns never sleep or take any time off. Everything, including your dreams that you perceive, is filtered by the patterns’ operations. You are unknowingly compelled by patterns to interpret, or rather misinterpret, what is happening and what has happened in a way that preserves or enhances the patterns’ existence.
A pattern expertly uses your awareness of disturbing emotions to hide behind. When your attention begins to approach a pattern, the pattern keeps you from getting any closer by generating upsetting, unpleasant emotions and feelings. A pattern uses an associated memory to cloak itself. For example, if you have a conversation and hear a critical word or see a stern facial expression that goes back to a perceived upsetting experience involving an authority figure, then feelings of low self-esteem and ridicule will be triggered within you. The emotions associated with those distant events are so minute that you are never conscious of them.
And if you persevere with an intention to destroy the button-pushing, crazy-making pattern, then the pattern will fight desperately for its existence like a wild animal saving its life. Stronger and stronger upsetting feelings will overwhelm you and become the focus of your attention. You will avoid these feelings by staying away from the pattern. You will notice heavy feelings in your stomach, chest or back, accompanied by feelings of procrastination, denial, anger or depression. You will lose your intention to go near any pattern in the future in order to avoid such agonizing discomfort.
Do not expect to find emotional relief from telling your, ‘You-won’t-believe-what-happened-to-me-again’ story to a friend, or even a bartender. Why? Because the pattern is still intact, and an hour later, you will still feel the same upsetting emotions. Furthermore, looking outside yourself for relief from your emotions of rejection, fear, or never feeling good enough will never prove satisfactory. The pattern will allow you to see only those situations that do not threaten the pattern. You must destroy the pattern to find relief. Your desire to be free is what gives you the motivation to read this book and use the approach described here. You have the option to use the Imagine All Better app on your smartphone, tablet or computer to walk you through the process from beginning to end.
You cannot use intellectual, rational methods to analyze or control patterns. A pattern exists in the unconscious, while the analytical intellect exists only in the conscious. You cannot know the extent of the unconscious, since, by definition, it contains all those processes, feelings, emotions, impressions, hunches and insights that exist outside your present awareness. Unconscious processes control not only your bodily functions such as circulation, breathing, digestion and immune responses, but also how and what you perceive in each moment. A pattern can never be defeated by logic because patterns dominate your thoughts, analyses and rationalizations. You must enter the patterns’ invisible world by using your imagination that can make the invisible, visible, in the blink of an eye, where you can confront and destroy patterns.
Because a pattern resides in your unconscious, it has access to every thought, experience and feeling that you have ever had plus those you inherited. A pattern will use every bit of this information to defend itself because its only objective is its survival – at your expense and discomfort. A pattern is a formidable, seemingly invincible opponent because of its access to all of your emotional buttons and its invisibility. Fortunately, you can use the one glaring weakness that all patterns have to easily and permanently defeat it: A pattern cannot think!
Let me illustrate that point with a story that is embedded in our genes with the Greek myth about the Medusa (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medusa). The Medusa was a hideous winged female monster that had venomous snakes in place of hair. Looking at the Medusa would turn an observer into stone. The hero of the story, Perseus, used a polished shield to look at Medusa’s image rather look directly at the monster. Once he had killed the Medusa, Perseus used the head as a weapon to turn others into stone.
One sense of the meaning of this story is that the Medusa represents a pattern or patterns that are in each of us. Instead of being turned into stone, we are automatically compelled to react – rather than respond – to situations that have some similar triggering contents. If we try to approach an upsetting situation by resisting the feelings that are arising within us, we will most likely lose the battle with the underlying pattern. Remember, a pattern operates 24/7, while we have, at most, about six hours every day of quality analytical capacity – if we are well rested and relatively stress free.
The polished shield in the Medusa story is actually your imagination, which is a faculty that is largely ignored and hence underdeveloped in western culture. You have complete and total command of your imagination. Like the genie-in-the-bottle story, your imagination will always do what you tell it to do. When you give your imagination to produce something it will do so automatically in the form of images and/or feelings. You are not responsible for what the imagination produces; your only responsibility is to determine if the results are acceptable or not. If the result is not useful, then all you need to do is ask for one that is more suited for your requirement.
Any pattern is powerless against your imagination and your imagination can be guided through the steps that will destroy any pattern quickly and permanently. All patterns can be quickly, easily and permanently destroyed with the imagination because although the imagination operates in the unconscious, it is always under your complete control. Therefore, a pattern cannot possibly defend itself by manipulating the unconscious information available to the imagination and so a pattern is completely defenseless.
This is not to say that an unguided imagination will always be successful in destroying any pattern. Patterns are acutely attuned to their – not your – well being and will respond to any perceived threat by any number of defenses. A threatened pattern can generate anger, fear, doubt, etc within you as you approach it with your logical mind and intentions. It will also do a superb job of rationalizing away your desire to get rid of it. The easy way out of these uncomfortable, upsetting feelings and rationalizings is to turn your attention to something else, such as another task, alcohol, drugs, a smartphone, Facebook, food, exercising, . . .
And the part of the Medusa story where Perseus used the severed head as a weapon? It happens all the time. Advertisers use their knowledge about our insecurities to sell us stuff. Politicians use our fears to get our votes. Parents and children use our sense of guilt to manipulate us. Organizations use our “needs” for security, approval and control to enforce their internal status quo. Friends, acquaintances, coworkers, bosses, strangers – and we – intuitively sense how to ”push each other’s buttons”, sometimes just to get some amusement from a predictable reaction. (Political commentators make handsome livings from their keenly developed intuitive-button senses.)
A pattern was your invisible internal opponent, a parasitical virus, until now. And like a parasite, a pattern infected and possessed your mind, thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and perceptions. You wound up doing its bidding and not that which brought you harmony and balance. This energy-sucking virus disconnected you from the balancing energies that can ensure your peace of mind, optimism, enthusiasm, self-confidence and joy. Patterns caused the continuous disconnections that eventually resulted in a domino effect compromising your medical, emotional and spiritual well being. As this fissure between you and the balancing energies widened, the patterns became stronger by siphoning your energy. The wider this abyss, the more vulnerable you were to depressions, anxieties, addictions, broken relationships, medical symptoms, chronic pains, and even suicide and homicide.
You now understand the nature and operation of patterns. You are now aware of how they have directed your life. Your current awareness by itself is the crucial first step in the process of annihilating the patterns that have robbed you of the full enjoyment of your life. Your awareness guarantees that the patterns can no longer operate without interference.
How to destroy patterns permanently
The key idea here is that nothing, or ‘no thing’, can be ‘done’, which is where observation, or awareness, a ‘non-doing’ state gives you the only tool needed to annihilate the pattern. You need only to ‘not-do’, to be, in order to be successful in eliminating a pattern. The instant that you begin to ‘do’, think, say or act in order to destroy a pattern, you are back in your analytical brain, which is incapable of destroying the pattern. You need only to observe, without thinking, what is happening in the moment, which includes what you observe in your imagination.
Observation does not involve ‘doing’. Quantum mechanics has shown that whatever we observe, or focus our attention on, is altered. That is, merely observing the subject changes both the observer and the subject. For example, when you have a telephone conversation, your words change something within the person with whom you are speaking, and the person’s words, which have been influenced by your words, will change something within you. Since all ‘doing’ about destroying a pattern is motivated by the pattern itself, there is nothing that you can ‘do’ to get rid of it. A pattern’s sole objective is its own existence and thus it will manipulate your perceptions to prevent its destruction.
When a detrimental pattern is obliterated, you can recognize other potential options that were always present, but were obscured by the pattern’s operation. This allows you to see alternative choices in a particular situation and thereby allows you to make an effective choice, one that benefits you, and not the pattern. By now, you understand that in order to destroy a pattern, there is nothing, ‘no thing’ to do, ‘no thing’ to get, and ‘no where’ to go. You are already where you need to be, in the right place. You need only to observe what is going on in the moment. Your observation is all that you need, and you have that capability in its full measure right now. You have always had it, and always will.
What would it be like to be free of the major patterns that reside in each of us? Here are some aspects of your life that occur as you destroy patterns:
-Your inner chatter begins to diminish until silence replaces that chatter and the negative thoughts embedded in that chatter.
-You are able to respond – not react – to a situation and choose the most appropriate response for that situation.
-Toxic relationships vanish.
-Calm and joy replace chaos and misery.
-Bad habits stop without any need for “will power”.
-Upsetting issues that have been resistant to other methods of resolution suddenly disappear.
-Options that were masked by the patterns suddenly appear in your awareness.
-Repeating situations, relationships, arguments, jobs, etc. stop repeating themselves, allowing you to choose what is in your best interests.
-Situations that were previously stressful (test taking, auditioning, asking for what you want, public speaking, taking a stand, etc) are now manageable.
-Upsetting memories are no longer upsetting. The memory remains without the associated upsetting feelings. Eventually the memory itself disappears.
In many cases, these benefits begin to show up within a few minutes and 48 hours of destroying a pattern. Since each of us has inherited many dominant patterns, it can require at least five or ten pattern-destruction sessions to get the full benefits.
I would very much like to tell you that reading our book, “Imagine All Better; Breaking Repeating emotional and Behavioral Patterns we All struggle With is Easier Than You THINK”, in which we describe just how and why this method works, will allow you to destroy patterns within you with no additional assistance.
Unfortunately, that’s not practical. Our work with thousands of clients over the past 40 years has shown us that patterns are exceptionally tricky. Since we cannot possibly handle all the requests for assistance, we did the next best thing and developed an app for your smartphone or tablet. The app contains all of the insights we have gathered about how any pattern can possibly defend itself and uses those insights to guide your imagination to successfully destroy a pattern.
There is nothing for you to do, say, get, think, read, change, learn, affirm, tap or believe. The app and your imagination do all the work for you.
The app has enjoyed a success rate of over 90% within a an average 20-minute session. The first session generally lasts between 30 and 45 minutes. For the cost of a typical co-payment, $29.95, you can enjoy stress relief on demand wherever you may be. In addition, the app has no need for any details of the issue that you wish to resolve, so there can be no record kept of what you are working on. We do keep an anonymous record of your age range and sex, which you do not have to enter. We do record how long you spent in the app and where you exited. We use this information to let us know how effective the app is and what improvements we need to make.
You can click here to get to the main page of this website or click on one of the store logos below. . You can see an extensive listing of the types of upsetting feelings and behaviors that the method has successfully dealt with by clicking here.
There is a lot more I have to say on this subject, but I have covered the main points here. Let me know if you have any questions or comments. You can contact Dr. Crowley and me at: info@ImagineAllBetter.com.
Thank you for your attention,
(The price of the app, including free updates, is $4.99.)