A bully is someone who uses strength, power, knowledge or information to intimidate someone else. That intimidation can take the form of physical or emotional abuse that results in severe anxiety on the part of the person being bullied. Bullying can also be done over the Internet. Several cases in recent years showed that the stress felt by the cyberbullied victim has resulted in the victim’s suicide.
Generally, dealing with a bully involves:
- Confronting the bully by explaining to the bully the effects that the bully’s behavior have on the victim,
- Penalizing the bully,
- Avoiding contact with the bully,
- Removing the bully from the victim’s presence, or asking the victim to ignore the bully.
The intention of the intervention methods is to get the bully to stop the unwanted behavior or to place distance between the bully and his victim.
However, what if the separation from the bully is not practical and the bully refuses to stop the behavior? Examples of this are contacts with spouses, significant others, family members, bosses, coworkers, customers, caregivers, and others whose presence cannot be avoided. How do you deal with these sorts of bullies? How do you deal with a cyberbully who isn’t even in the victim’s presence?
To answer those questions, we need to examine the issue of attraction and aversion. You’re probably aware that people can be almost instantly attracted to or repelled by others, sometimes within just a few seconds of meeting. You know of situations in which you have met someone and have felt as if you have known that person for years and in other cases you have met someone whom you instantly dislike. Those feelings that arise are spontaneous and out of your control. I’m going to explore the source of those uncontrolled, spontaneous feelings next and show you how destroying those sources can fix the bullying problem.
Those attractions and aversions, preferences and dislikes, and other spontaneous feelings arise beyond your conscious control. The sources of those feelings are called patterns, which operate out of your conscious control and have been inherited from your family’s ancestors. (You can read a detailed description of patterns and their operations on this website by clicking here.)
So why does a bully single out an individual for intimidating behavior? Consider that the bully finds the victim’s reaction attractive. Now, neither the bully nor the victim can see the pattern that causes the emotional reactions in either the bully or the victim. Both bully and victim are under the control of an unconscious source within each of them. The bully gains some satisfaction from the reactions of the victim. And something with in the victim is triggered by the bully’s behavior that causes the spontaneous, uncontrollable upsetting reaction that the bully expects and demands.
This behavioral model does not imply that we should blame the victim. We cannot blame the victim because both the bully and the victim are at the mercy of patterns’ behaviors within each of them. Moreover, we cannot even use the possessive term “your” pattern, because a pattern is an energetic parasite just as a tick is a physical parasite. However, this behavioral model does provide a powerful way of dealing with a bully’s behavior.
Consider what would happen if just one of the patterns associated with the bullying relationship were destroyed. Usually, the bully will not consider that a pattern within the bully is something that needs to be addressed and destroyed. After all, the bully derives some satisfaction from the victim’s reaction.
So, let’s consider what happens when the victim destroys the unconscious pattern that attracts the bully’s attention in the first place. When the pattern within the victim is destroyed, the bully senses at some level that the victim’s reaction will no longer be what the bully expects. Therefore, when the pattern or patterns within the victim are permanently destroyed, the bullying will cease permanently.
The energetic, or emotional, connection in the bully-victim relationship is then broken, and the victim becomes invisible to the bully because the former victim is literally incapable of the spontaneous, uncontrolled reaction to the bully’s behavior. In the cyberbullying situation http://premier-pharmacy.com/product/viagra/ where there is no bully physically present, the victim no longer has the upsetting feeling associated with the attack and can enjoy a much calmer life. The lack of the victim’s reactions to the bullying eliminates the bully’s satisfaction and the bullying behavior stops.
You may be asking if it really is that simple. I can assure you that, yes, it really is quite simple and we have seen remarkable behavioral changes with bullies – and people who push your buttons – when patterns within the victim or the annoyed person are destroyed. Fortunately, destroying a pattern is easier than you think. The reason I can make this statement is because thinking is an analytical function, which is of no use in the realm where patterns reside, the unconscious. You cannot consciously tell yourself to be calm, relaxed or peaceful in the middle of an upsetting situation. We have all tried, but I don’t know of anyone who has gotten a self-instruction to work.
You already have and always have had the tool you need to destroy patterns quickly, easily and permanently. That tool is your imagination, which will do anything that you command it to do. And the imagination, which has complete and total access to the unconscious, can easily destroy any pattern that causes your upsetting feelings and unwanted behaviors.
We have developed a method that anyone at any age and from any culture can use to quickly, easily and permanently destroy any patterns that detract from your full enjoyment of life. We describe this method in our book “Imagine All Better, Breaking Repeating Emotional and Behavioral Patterns We All Struggle With Is Easier Than You THINK”. I wish I could tell you that by reading our book and using the method on yourself that you could quickly easily and permanently destroy the pattern that attracts a bully or bullies. However, that’s not practical because patterns are very, very tricky when they sense that they are about to be destroyed. Our extensive experience with the pattern-destroying technique has shown us how to counter the patterns’ ways of maintaining their survival.
We wish that we could be of assistance to everyone who would like our help in destroying the patterns that interfere with their full enjoyment of life. However, that’s not practical, so, we have done the next best thing. We have developed an app called “Imagine All Better”, for your smart phone or tablet. You can use the app whenever it is convenient. You can see an extensive listing of the types of upsetting feelings and behaviors that the method has successfully dealt with by clicking here. There is nothing for you to do, say, get, think, read, change, learn, affirm, tap or believe. The app and your imagination do all the work for you. The app contains all of our lessons learned over the years to assist you in destroying patterns that do their tricky best to escape destruction.
The app has enjoyed a success rate of over 90% within an average 20-minute session. The first session generally lasts between 30 and 45 minutes. For the cost of a typical office co-payment, $29.95, you can enjoy stress relief on demand wherever you may be. In addition, the app has no need for any details of the issue that you wish to resolve, so there can be no record kept of what you are working on. We do keep an anonymous record of your age range and sex, which you do not have to enter in order to use the app. We do record how long you spent in the app and where you exited. We use this information to let us know how effective the app is and what improvements we need to make.
You can click here to get to the main page of this website or click on a store logo below.
You can reach the ImagineAllBetter app developers (Dr. Crowley and Vince Kubilus) at email@example.com.
(The price of the app, including free updates, is $4.99.)